Why even leaders get by with a little help from their friends

Why even leaders get by with a little help from their friendsWhy even leaders get by with a little help from their friendsI think of myself as strong.I see myself as someone who can manage a lot of stress. Who can get a tremendous amount accomplished in a day. Who can work long hours and pull through in clutch moments. Who doesnt give up in the face of problems, but works tirelessly until they are solved.I am a leader and most leaders I know feel the same way. We have to - our companies, our employees, our clients, our families - they all rely on us to pull through in the clutch. And we do. Sometimes, in our skillful mastery of pressure, complexity, and accomplishment, we can feel super-human.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraBut then, on my way to dinner in New York with old friends from high school, my bicycle hit a pothole and stopped abruptly while I flew over the handlebars and slammed head-first into a parked car.Dazed, bloody, lying on the street, I couldnt think. Some people nearby came to ask if I was OK, but I didnt know. They asked if I needed water, but I didnt know. When I eventually staggered to me feet, they asked if I needed to sit, but I didnt know.Looking back on that moment, heres what I did know with absolute certainty I am very, very human.As a leader who advocates vulnerability as a strength, I am surprised to realize that I have, somehow, bought into the notion that I need to be super-human and that any weakness diminishes my leadership.In fact, I see clearly now that it is precisely the opposite. Not acknowledging our weaknesses is counter-productive for two simple reasonsOne, its unsustainable. Life inevitably catches up to us and then, eventually, we must face the inescapable reality that we are human, with weaknesses, flaws, and faults.Two, its poor leadership. Leadership is about connection. People will only follow you, work har d for you, create and risk and sacrifice for you, if they feel connected to you. So heres my question Will anyone ever be able to truly connect with you, really trust you, honestly give you their all, if you only reveal to them the parts of you that you think will impress them? How long do you think you can keep that up? How long before they become disillusioned?In other words, hiding our weaknesses in an attempt to be strong leaders makes us weak leaders. Our vulnerabilities make us most vulnerable when we pretend they dont exist.Heres whats important to remember our struggles do not define us any more than our successes do. You are not weak you have weaknesses. There is a difference.And from this distributionspolitik of humanness, that can hold both strengths and weaknesses, we can do the most leaderly thing there is Ask for help.When I eventually got up and stumbled to dinner, I was greeted by concern and support. My friend Toby got her car, threw my bike in the back and drove me to the emergency room. Pam, Susie, Nicky, and Vicky all came to sit with me at the hospital late into the night.I was lucky not to be alone that night, and that was thanks to my humanness, not despite it.And needing help - asking for help - is an essential part of being a leader. While Ive always known this, Ive also always secretly felt that its a leaders job to help others, not to need help.But thats a myth. The reality is that leaders who dont need help have no one to lead. People feel good when they help. They are inspired when they are needed. They dont think less of the people they help, they feel more connected.I am not superhuman. Nor are you. And thats not only OK- its better.This article originally appeared on Heleo.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistake s you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

5 Ways to Ruin Your Job Search before 9 a.m.

5 Ways to Ruin Your Job Search before 9 a.m.5 Ways to Ruin Your Job Search before 9 a.m.6Ever wake up in the morning only to feel like you want to roll right over and go back to sleep until tomorrow? Everyone has days when they feel like they want a do-over- even when its only 600 a.m. But there might be negative ways in which youre contributing to these feelings that youre completely unaware of- and it might be sabotaging your job efforts as well. Here are five ways you could be ruining your job search before 9 a.m.Over-scheduling yourself.In todays world, everyone is super busy. Youre trying to get kids out the door and onto the school bus before applying for 25 jobs- all before 900 a.m. The problem is that your to-do list could actually be hindering you, not helping you. If you spend your morning thinking of everything that you have to do, chances are youll do nothing. Instead, spend time in the morning getting emotionally (and physically) ready for the day by relaxing your mind a nd clearing it of any unnecessary thoughts. If you can get in a workout, your body will be at peace, too, and youll be ready for whatever the day may bring.Not getting dressed.Sure, your flannel PJs and fluffy slippers are your clothes du jour when youre job hunting. But by not changing your clothes, you run the risk of becoming even mora unproductive- and sloppy. Its a better idea to change into comfortable- and more professional- clothes before you start the day. Even yoga pants are fine when paired with a proper shirt. Changing your clothes will help you change your mindset and make your job search that much more streamlined- and successful.Refusing to get out of bed.Youre supposed to be up and out of bed by 630. But you keep hitting your snooze button for five extra minutes- six more times. When you purposely delay your day, you can create extra stress having to rush around getting things done. That stress can continue for the rest of your day, causing you to feel extra (and unn ecessary) pressure that can ruin the rest of your day. So the next time your alarm clock rings, do what it wants you to do and get out of bed.Adopting an all-or-nothing attitude.There are some mornings when everything goes wrong. Your kid didnt do his homework, the dog threw up in the kitchen, and your spouse misplaced the car keys. Its tempting to think that the rest of your day is going to be as miserable as your morning. Turn the tables (on yourself) and find the positives in the middle of the messes. By learning to change your mindset when things go wrong, youll be able to survive them better and have a great workday in spite of a bumpy start to the day. This learned skill will also help you when you are in the middle of a tough job interview.Not taking care of yourself.Youre running late, so you plan to hit the drive-thru for your breakfast. Or maybe you didnt have time to iron your power pants before your final job interview with a prospective boss, so you wind up throwing a p air of wrinkled jeans on instead. When you dont take time to take care of yourself, you are sending a bad homilie to both a vermgen boss and yourself. Essentially youre saying that youre not valuing yourself- and no one else should, either. By treating yourself with love and respect (by eating a proper breakfast, taking the time you need to get ready in the morning, scoring a quick run before you go to the office), youre making an investment not only in yourself and your family, but in your career as well.There are so many ways in which people can self-sabotage their days, and in turn, their careers as well. By being aware of some of the pitfalls, you can steer clear and be successful in your job search- and your life.Readers, whats your morning routine like? Do you think it has the potential to ruin your job search? Sound off in the comments below

View the ASME Energy Forum on Hydrokinetics Now

View the ASME Energy Forum on Hydrokinetics Now View the ASME Energy Forum on Hydrokinetics Now If you missed the first ASME Energy Forum webinar, Tapping the Power of Flowing Water, when it took place earlier this month, no need to worry. A recording of that webinar on the topic of hydrokinetics is now available online, free of charge. To take a deep dive into demo projects underway in New York Harbor and the Gulf Stream, register today to access the webinar and presentations, at the forum website.The ASME Energy Forum, is a new yearlong multi-media series that explores the technical aspects and workings of a broad range of emerging energy sources and related technologies. The series which will encompass feature articles, webinars, on-demand webcasts, podcasts, surveys, congressional briefings, and online discussion groups and communities will provide you with expert perspectives on how these energy sources and technologies work, the technical issues and challenges, and the econom ic implications for businesses.The March installment of the ASME Energy Forum will focus on the subject of concentrated solar power, and feature two articles by Mark Crawford Greater Efficiencies Bring Solar to Prominence on ASME.org and Catching the Sun in Mechanical Engineering magazine. In his ASME.org article, Crawford takes a look at todays CSP systems that use mirrors and sophisticated tracking systems to reflect and concentrate sunlight, which is converted to heat to generate electricity. The article also reviews the four primary technologies in this field. In Catching the Sun, Crawford surveys the field to explain where the breakthroughs are coming from and where more work needs to be done. The ASME Energy Forum will also include a webinar on the topic of CSP, to take place on March 28.For more information on the ASME Energy Forum, visit the forum website.